Sex Ed Probably Didn’t Teach You What You Really Needed
If your sex education growing up felt awkward, vague, or even shame-filled, you're not alone. Many people in the U.S. and around the world received limited, confusing, or judgmental information about sexuality — if they got any education at all. And while it might seem like something you just “get through” as a teenager, the effects of that kind of education (or lack of it) can actually stick with us well into adulthood.
It turns out that the kind of sex education we receive can shape our body image, sense of safety, and how we emotionally relate to others. When sex ed is positive, inclusive, and informative, it can help build confidence, reduce anxiety, and promote healthier relationships. But when it’s fear-based, incomplete, or full of silence around key topics — like consent, gender identity, pleasure, or emotional intimacy — it can leave us feeling confused, ashamed, or disconnected from our own bodies and needs.
For some people, this shows up later in life as anxiety around relationships, difficulty setting boundaries, or feelings of shame around sexuality. Others may feel a deep sense of missing information — like they were left to figure out important parts of life on their own.
The good news? Counseling can help. Therapy provides a space to explore the gaps, confusions, or painful messages you might have received around sex, relationships, or your own identity. Maybe you were taught that your body was something to be controlled or feared. Maybe no one ever talked to you about pleasure, safety, or emotional closeness. These are not small things. They shape how we connect — with others and with ourselves.
If you're thinking about bringing this into therapy, here are a few gentle prompts you might reflect on or even share with your therapist:
What messages did you receive growing up about sex or relationships?
Were important topics — like consent, pleasure, or gender identity — ever discussed?
Did you feel seen and included in the sex education you received?
Are there parts of your sexual or emotional life now that feel confusing, shameful, or difficult to talk about?
You don’t need to have all the answers — or even a clear question — to begin this kind of work. A good therapist will meet you where you are and help you untangle the knots with care, not judgment.
Learning to feel safe, confident, and connected in your own body and relationships isn’t just possible — it’s your right.