Permission to Take Up Space: Reclaiming Your Life from People Pleasing
“You deserve to live a life that you enjoy.” How does it feel to read that sentence? Perhaps it feels like a breath of fresh air. You might be thinking “I’ve just been waiting for someone to give me permission!” Perhaps it feels a little uncomfortable or foreign. Either way - it’s true.
It's often all too easy to fall into the trap of self-neglect and routine. For people pleasers, the pattern can be particularly tricky. Life as a people pleaser can often be a slippery slope into being overworked, overbooked, and burnt out. But, what if we allowed ourselves to transcend old patterns and actively create the life we desire?
People pleasing often stems from a desire to avoid conflict or the discomfort of feeling other people’s disapproval. It’s a natural human tendency to avoid discomfort. However, extended neglect of one’s personal needs can gradually lead towards a sense that the life that we are living is no longer reflective of who we really are. I often hear from my clients, “I don’t know who I am anymore,” or “How did I get here? I don’t even recognize my own life.”
Many of us stop in our tracks when we consider the idea that we are allowed to take up space and create a life we love. (Who, ...me?) It can feel simultaneously liberating and terrifying. Chances are that the patterns of behavior that resulted in every day feeling like Groundhog Day are long-held and run deep. Change can be scary. For some of us worthiness is an iffy subject; taking up space can feel unsafe or unfamiliar. When you read the first sentence of this blog, perhaps you noticed a reaction to that statement stirring within you. Did it illicit a sense of hopefulness? Motivation? Perhaps it came with a twinge of sadness or doubt.
I enjoy helping clients re-connect to their innate worthiness and assisting them in tapping into a better relationship with themselves. This often leads to creating a life that leaves more room for personal fulfillment and authenticity. This is sacred work!
Therapy can help with learning skills that improve emotional regulation, communication, and self-awareness. But did you also know that therapy often includes goal setting, problem-solving, and fostering resilience?
If you have been feeling stuck, stagnant, or generally dissatisfied with your life but you are unsure of how to move forward – perhaps therapy can be a valuable tool in your toolbox.
I am hoping that this message finds who needs it today. This is your sign to create a life you love.