Welcoming Every Feeling: Mental Health Lessons from Rumi’s The Guest House
The Guest House
By Jalaluddin Rumi
Translated by Coleman Barks
This being human is a guest house.
Every morning a new arrival.
A joy, a depression, a meanness,
some momentary awareness comes
as an unexpected visitor.
Welcome and entertain them all!
Even if they’re a crowd of sorrows,
who violently sweep your house
empty of its furniture,
still, treat each guest honorably.
He may be clearing you out
for some new delight.
The dark thought, the shame, the malice,
meet them at the door laughing,
and invite them in.
Be grateful for whoever comes,
because each has been sent
as a guide from beyond.
Life has a way of sending us visitors we didn’t invite. A burst of joy one morning, a wave of anxiety before bed, or a thought that whispers, “I am not enough.” Some guests are welcome, others not so much.
Rumi, the 13th-century poet, captured this beautifully in his poem The Guest House. He describes being human as a kind of house, or our inner world of mind, heart, and body where every day new guests arrive. Those guests are our thoughts, moods, and emotions, like joy, sorrow, shame, delight, and even despair. All are to be greeted and welcomed, because each carries its own message. Our role is to not control who shows up, but to notice, listen, and learn. This simple yet profound metaphor offers a practice we can use today, especially in caring for our mental health.
Emotions and Thoughts as Guests
Most of us try to control which thoughts and feelings “should” show up by ignoring them, suppressing them, numbing them, or denying them. We try to push away sadness, fight anxiety, or distract ourselves from shame or grief. But fighting or suppressing our inner experiences usually makes them louder. Rumi’s teaching and modern-day mental health approaches such as mindfulness and Acceptance and Commitment therapy, suggest something more radical: make space for them instead.
It’s easy to think of emotions as visitors, but our thoughts fit this metaphor just as well. Thoughts come and go constantly, often coming without being invited. Some bring inspiration, others bring worry, and some criticize us the moment they walk in the door, often times sending us spiraling into a black hole. The key is remembering: we are not our thoughts. We are the house that holds them. They may visit, but they don’t define us.
This is what mindfulness and therapies like Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) emphasize, noticing thoughts as passing experiences, not absolute truths.
How to Welcome Your Inner Guests
Next time you’re caught in a difficult thought or emotion, try this:
Pause and Notice. Take one slow breath. Become aware of what’s knocking at the door.
Name the Visitor. Label the feeling or thought with phrases like “Here comes worry,” “Here’s the thought that I might fail,” “thinking,” “Planning,” “here’s that rerun again.” By labeling it in simple terms, we can separate ourselves from the feeling or thought by not identifying with it.
Let It In. Instead of pushing it away, imagine offering it a seat and inviting in for tea.
Listen Kindly. Ask, “What might this be trying to show me?” “What do you want me know?” Sometimes anxiety is asking for rest, guilt may tell us who we don’t want to be, anger tells us where our boundaries are, and sadness is pointing to something you value.
Let It Leave. When it’s ready, offer gratitude to the visitor for stopping by. You don’t need to hold on or chase it down the road.
Becoming the Steady Host
You are not your emotions, nor are you your thoughts. You are the house that holds them, the space that remains even as guests come and go. Being human means having a house full of visitors. Some stay longer than others, and none are permanent.
You don’t have to love them, or even like them. You might even notice that as you practice this exercise, that the guests don’t stay long, especially when they feel welcomed. With mindfulness, we can become steady hosts. Open, curious, and compassionate, even when the guests are difficult.
Leanne Sudbeck, MSW, SWLC
Resource
Rumi. (2004). Rumi: Selected poems (C. Barks, J. Moyne, A. J. Arberry, & R. Nicholson, Trans.). Penguin Books.