Recognizing Emotional Exhaustion Before it Becomes Burnout
Recently, I had a client express to me that she felt burnt out in therapy and needed a break. This came as a surprise to me because we hadn’t discussed it and I thought things were going really well. I tried to ask her questions about this to get more clarification but never heard back.
In the past, clients have been upfront to me about when they need to take breaks and for what reasons, so I usually have a good idea of how things are going. If you are currently seeing a mental health professional, counselor or therapist, know that it’s okay to tell us when your attention or energy for therapy is running out or not at its peak. We are not going to get upset at you, and it’s important for us to know so that we can either adjust our focus to lessen the pressure or depth of what we are working on, or to move forward with a discussion about what a break would look like.
What is Burnout?
Before we can talk about recognizing emotional exhaustion before it becomes burnout, we first need to define what burnout is. According to the American Psychological Association’s Dictionary of Psychology, burnout is “[a] physical, emotional or mental exhaustion, accompanied by decreased motivation, lowered performance and negative attitudes toward oneself and others.”
It’s not a medical condition that can be diagnosed and it’s often hard to catch. In fact, you might have already crossed the threshold between “really tired” and “too tired to function” before you realize you’ve hit burnout. What’s more, if you are the kind of person who typically likes to maintain a certain sense of busy-ness, you may not even realize or notice when you’re doing too much.
Here are 7 typical signs of burnout:
Fatigue
Apathy and dissatisfaction
Irritability and anger
Sleep troubles
Changes in eating habits
Tension headaches
Other physical symptoms (i.e., GI issues)
What is Emotional Exhaustion?
Now let’s discuss emotional exhaustion and what that is. Emotional exhaustion is when you feel emotionally drained or worn out. When you feel cut off from your own vitality. When you feel your vibrancy for life is beyond your reach, no matter how hard you try and grasp it. For most people, emotional exhaustion builds over time. Quietly. Subtly.
It’s important to understand that emotional exhaustion is not a sign that you are failing personally. It’s not a sign that you aren’t strong enough or capable enough. Rather, it’s a sign that you’re navigating through life without enough support and/or rest. It’s easy to believe that, with emotional exhaustion, the answer is to push harder. To try more and get back on track. It’s not. In fact, it’s the opposite. It’s all about letting go of the idea that you have to carry everything on your own and to get that support and rest that your body and mind need.
Here are four signs associated with emotional exhaustion:
Persistent fatigue
Disconnection from emotions
Overwhelm
Irritability and frustration
Strategies to Reduce Emotional Exhaustion
So now that we know what burnout and emotional exhaustion are, what can we do about it? How do we reduce emotional exhaustion before it turns into burnout?
One thing you can do to address emotional exhaustion is to identify the stressors you’re facing and minimizing or eliminating them. Especially those ones that feel like they are out of your control, focus on the present moment. When you do this, you’ll notice that there are many positive and negative things happening around you and you’ll be able to gain a perspective about everything that’s occurring; thus, allowing you to shift your focus away from your stressors.
Your body more times than not sees stress as a threat. As a result, your brain releases stress hormones throughout your body, which further contributes to the symptoms of emotional exhaustion. But when you focus on the present and the positive and negative, your brain learns that the perceived threat is not as dire as it first thought it was. Hence, it reduces the amount of stress hormones and you regain emotional balance.
Other strategies for reducing emotional exhaustion include but are not limited to:
Eating a healthy, balanced diet
Eliminating or minimizing the stressor when possible
Exercising
Getting adequate sleep
Identifying and challenging unhelpful thoughts and replacing them with balanced thoughts
Practicing mindfulness to engage in the present moment
Talk with a mental health professional, counselor or therapist if you feel you are experiencing signs of emotional exhaustion. We can help you sort through the causes and symptoms and determine a plan that will help you regain a sense of well-being.