Perfectionism: What It Is, How It Impacts Mental Health, and Ways to Manage It
Perfectionism is often celebrated as a path to high achievement, yet for many, it's a relentless internal critic that leads to anxiety, burnout, and emotional exhaustion. Far from a purely positive quality, rigid perfectionism is increasingly recognized as a significant risk factor for various mental health challenges (Hewitt & Flett, 1991). Understanding what it is and how to manage it is the first step toward a healthier, more balanced life.
What Perfectionism Really Means
Not all perfectionism looks the same. Psychologists usually distinguish between two forms:
Adaptive perfectionism: setting ambitious goals, striving for excellence, and learning from mistakes without collapsing under them.
Maladaptive perfectionism: rigid standards, fear of failure, and relentless self-criticism when things aren’t flawless.
Perfectionism can also show up in different directions: self-oriented (demanding perfection of yourself), socially prescribed (believing others expect you to be perfect), or other-oriented (expecting perfection from others).
The most harmful feature is often the “discrepancy”—the painful gap between one’s impossible standards and one’s actual performance. That’s where stress and shame take root.
When Perfectionism Hurts Mental Health
Perfectionism itself isn’t a diagnosis, but it plays a role in many forms of psychological distress. Instead of running through every disorder, here are some common patterns researchers have observed:
Anxiety and worry: Perfectionists are often hyper-alert to mistakes, which fuels chronic worry and social anxiety. A 2022 study found that higher perfectionism predicted more social anxiety, especially when stress levels were high.
Depression: Constant self-criticism and rumination over “failures” wear down mood. Perfectionistic thinking is a known risk factor for depressive symptoms.
Eating and body image issues: The drive for control and “flawless” appearance can feed disordered eating patterns.
Burnout: In students and professionals, perfectionism is a strong predictor of exhaustion, low self-esteem, and feeling like an impostor.
In short, perfectionism magnifies distress because it ties self-worth to achievement. Success means “I’m good,” and anything less than perfect means “I’m worthless.” That all-or-nothing lens leaves little room for self-acceptance.
Why Perfectionism Becomes a Trap
What makes perfectionism so hard to shake is the cycle it creates:
Unrealistic standard: “I have to get this 100% right.”
Overwork or procrastination: hours of re-checking, or avoiding the task out of fear.
Perceived failure: anything less than flawless feels unacceptable.
Self-criticism: “I’m not good enough.”
Temporary relief if something goes “perfectly”… until the next challenge arises.
Over time, this cycle builds stress, robs joy, and keeps people stuck.
Tricks and Tools for Management
The goal isn't to stop striving for excellence, but to decouple your self-worth from your performance and adopt a more flexible, compassionate approach. These evidence-based coping tools, many rooted in Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), can help:
Challenge Your Thoughts (Cognitive Reframing)
The "Decatastrophizing" Trick: Perfectionists often engage in "catastrophizing," believing one small mistake will lead to total ruin. When a mistake occurs, ask yourself: "What is the absolute worst-case scenario?" Follow up with: "How likely is that, really?" and "If that happened, could I cope?" You will usually find the catastrophe is highly unlikely and that you could cope.
The "What If I Were My Friend?" Test: Whenever you catch your inner critic being harsh, pause and ask: "What would I say to a dear friend in this exact situation?" Your compassionate advice to a friend is almost always the appropriate advice for yourself (Neff, 2003).
Introduce Flexibility (Behavioral Experiments)
The "80% Rule": For a low-stakes task (e.g., writing a personal email, cleaning a room, making a minor presentation), intentionally decide that 80% quality is sufficient and commit to stopping when you hit that mark. This is a behavioral experiment designed to show you that "good enough" is, in reality, often perfectly fine and that the sky won't fall (Antony & Swinson, 2017).
Scheduled "Imperfection": Pick one small thing each day that you will purposely do "imperfectly." This could be leaving one section of your planner messy, wearing two slightly mismatched socks, or submitting a draft document with a tiny, non-critical typo. The practice is about tolerating the anxiety of imperfection without correcting it.
Cultivate Self-Compassion
Acknowledge Common Humanity: Recognize that suffering and failure are part of the shared human experience—not proof of your personal deficiency. When you struggle, remind yourself: "This is a difficult moment, and many people feel this way." (Neff, 2003).
Focus on Effort over Outcome: Redefine success as giving your honest, best effort given the time and resources you have, rather than solely on a flawless outcome. Celebrate the attempt and the learning, not just the A-plus.
Perfectionists often expect 100% effort in every area of life. A healthier approach is flexible standards: aim high when it matters, and accept “good enough” elsewhere. As psychologist Martin Antony puts it, “No one can—or should—be perfect at everything.”
By systematically challenging perfectionistic thoughts and embracing small acts of imperfection, you can gradually loosen the grip of the inner critic, reduce your vulnerability to stress and anxiety, and redirect your energies toward progress, not paralysis.
Leanne Sudbeck, MSW, SWLC
References
Antony, M. M., & Swinson, R. P. (2017). When perfect isn't good enough: The self-defeating side of perfectionism. New Harbinger Publications.
Egan, S. J., Wade, T. D., & Shafran, R. (2011). Perfectionism as a transdiagnostic process: A clinical review. Clinical Psychology Review, 31(2), 203–212.
Flett, G. L., & Hewitt, P. L. (2022). Reflections on perfectionism and interpersonal behavior: Progress and future directions. Personality and Individual Differences, 189, 111524.
Frost, R. O., Marten, P., Lahart, C., & Rosenblate, R. (1990). The dimensions of perfectionism. Cognitive Therapy and Research, 14(5), 449–468.
Hewitt, P. L., & Flett, G. L. (1991). Perfectionism in the self and social contexts: Conceptualization, assessment, and association with psychopathology. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 60(3), 456–470.
Lloyd, S., Schmidt, U., & Tchanturia, K. (2015). Perfectionism in anorexia nervosa: A transdiagnostic issue. International Journal of Eating Disorders, 48(8), 904–912.
Limburg, K., Watson, H. J., Hagger, M. S., & Egan, S. J. (2017). The relationship between perfectionism and psychopathology: A meta-analysis. Journal of Clinical Psychology, 73(10), 1301–1326.
Neff, K. (2003). Self-compassion: An alternative conceptualization of a healthy attitude toward oneself. Self and Identity, 2(2), 85–101.
Shafran, R., Egan, S., & Wade, T. (2018). Overcoming Perfectionism: A Self-Help Guide Using CBT. London: Robinson.