Parenting Teens with Connection Over Correction
Parenting teens today is one of the scariest things parents can go through. Between hormones, schoolwork, and social life, teens are constantly creating worry for parents — and sometimes, that worry is actually really common.
So how do we, as parents, tune in to notice whether our kid is going through normal developmental changes versus what might signal a higher level of care?
Looking at Patterns, Not Moments
To put it simply, it’s about mood and behaviors that last a prolonged amount of time — weeks to months, not just days — and that eventually create barriers to their success.
If your teen is moody one week and loving the next, maybe we can be kind and chalk it up to teen hormones.
If your teen has been isolating, withdrawing from things they once enjoyed, and the school is now calling about grades or behavior, there may be unmet needs that deserve attention.
Lead With Curiosity, Not Judgment
If you’re noticing these patterns may be ongoing, try to approach your teen from a place of curiosity rather than judgment.
Actively listen. Be engaged when they talk about school, friendships, or their inner world. Encourage open communication, not by having all the answers, but by being willing to stay present.
If your teen asks questions that bring up discomfort for you, pause and acknowledge that feeling before moving on. Open communication doesn’t mean “I know everything.” It means “You’re not alone, and I’m willing to have hard conversations with you.”
Do Some of the Work on Your Own
Teens often Google things before they ask their parents. Take time to educate yourself, too.
Increasing your own awareness around mental health, identity, and social stressors can help you better understand what many teens, and parents, are navigating during this stage of life.
Trust Is Built Over Time
Once conversations start opening up, patience and consistency matter.
If your teen isn’t sure how you’ll respond, trust takes time. Teens are developmentally wired to push beyond their comfort zones, and one of the most important supports you can offer is being a steady, safe place.
Saying “you can talk to me” isn’t enough on its own. Showing them by staying regulated, listening without immediate anger, and responding with care is what helps teens feel seen, soothed, and secure.
When to Consider Additional Support
If your teen continues to show signs of mental health challenges, it may be time to talk with the school about further interventions or outside support.
Often, small steps taken early can make a meaningful difference. Many people experience their first signs of mental illness during adolescence, so if this runs in your family or you recognize warning signs, seeking support sooner rather than later can be protective.
A Final Reminder for Parents
No matter what, remember this:
This is your teen’s first time living through adolescence and your first time parenting this kid through it.
Give yourself grace, stay curious, and allow space for the unknown.