Components of Healthy Relationships and How to Build Them: Part 3 of 5
In life, we cultivate a variety of relationships, including with family, romantic partners, friends, colleagues, neighbors, and acquaintances. Healthy, functioning relationships often include common elements that can be worked on as a team with the other person in the relationship.
*However, unhealthy relationships are different, and if you are concerned that you or someone you love is experiencing domestic violence or abuse, please reach out for help. Locally to the Help Center at 406.586.3333 or the National Domestic Violence Abuse hotline at 1-800-799-SAFE or text 88788*
Healthy Conflict
Conflict is a normal part of any healthy relationship. As we all know, it is not possible for two people to agree and get along in all situations, all the time. Learning how to address and resolve conflict is an essential skill in any functional relationship. Many of us have been taught to avoid conflict or feel like conflict is too uncomfortable to deal with. However, when we attend to conflict and work towards resolution, we can have stronger and healthier relationships. A conflict is more than a disagreement because it includes one or both parties having the perception of a threat. Conflicts continue to fester if they are not addressed and can lead to resentment and dysfunction. Working through conflicts is an opportunity to grow and improve the quality and function of your most important relationships, including the one you have with yourself.
Here are some examples of how to deal with conflict in unhealthy and healthy ways.
Unhealthy Responses to Conflict:
An inability to recognize and respond to the things that matter to the other person.
Explosive, angry, hurtful, and resentful reactions.
The withdrawal of love, resulting in rejection, isolation, shaming, and fear of abandonment.
An inability to compromise or see the other person’s side.
Healthy Responses to Conflict:
The capacity to empathize with the other person’s viewpoint.
Calm, non-defensive, and respectful reactions.
A readiness to forgive and forget, and to move past the conflict without holding resentments or anger.
The ability to seek compromise and avoid punishing.
While it is challenging to work through conflict, it is an important skill in building healthy relationships. Consider reaching out to your therapist to help you work on your conflict resolution skills, you deserve it!
Rachel Brown, MSW, SWLC
References
https://www.helpguide.org/relationships/communication/conflict-resolution-skills
https://wellbeing.jhu.edu/blog/2020/09/15/12-elements-of-healthy-relationships/