Components of Healthy Relationships and How to Build Them: Part 2 of 5
In life, we cultivate a variety of relationships, including with family, romantic partners, friends, colleagues, neighbors, and acquaintances. Healthy, functioning relationships often include common elements that can be worked on as a team with the other person in the relationship.
*However, unhealthy relationships are different, and if you are concerned that you or someone you love is experiencing domestic violence or abuse, please reach out for help. Locally to the Help Center at 406.586.3333 or the National Domestic Violence Abuse hotline at 1-800-799-SAFE or text 88788*
Setting Boundaries
Whether it is with romantic partners, family, friends, or coworkers, maintaining healthy boundaries can help you strengthen relationships, avoid unhealthy connections, and improve your overall well-being and sense of self.
There are many types of boundaries, including physical, emotional, social, financial and digital, to name a few. Setting boundaries includes identifying your own comfort level or limits and communicating them to those around you that need to know. Setting boundaries can feel mean or harsh and can risk a sense of rejection. However, when we are clear and direct, respectful and kind, we can increase understanding, build trust, avoid resentment, and protect our mental well-being.
Among the many challenges of boundary setting is realizing that we can express them to those around us, but it is then outside of our control as to whether those boundaries are heard and respected. If you are new to expressing your needs and limits, remember it will take time for those around you to adapt to your new behaviors and may need patience and guidance.
If you are on the receiving end of a boundary, consider that this means someone in your life cares about you and your relationship to share what they need and what works and doesn’t work for them. This can be an invitation to look more deeply at yourself, and consider if there is a boundary being asked of you that you can accept and embrace.
Here are some steps to set healthy boundaries:
Identify how you feel about things, what your comfort level is, what you do and don’t need in a situation. It is helpful to especially pay attention to thigns that make you feel uncomfortable or anxious as they can be great warning signs for a needed boundary.
Start small and set yourself and others up for success. Consider starting with a less challenging situation without high stakes consequences so you can experience some boundary setting success. You can build from there.
Communicate clearly and effectively. Consider “I” statements to focus on your feelings and needs, and reflective listening to support understanding.
Let go of feeling guilty. Setting boundaries is a form of self-respect. It takes bravery and is important even if those around you don’t understand or are at first unable to embrace your efforts.
Receive support. If you would like to learn more about how to identify and express boundaries, a mental health professional can help.
Along with communication, boundary setting is another important component of building and maintaining healthy relationships.