How Do We Play?: Incorporating Play as an Adult
We’re adults now. Our days of carefree play are over now – aren't they?
As a therapist who specializes in building healthy relationships with self and others, my answer is absolutely NOT! In fact, play is vital for maintaining positive mental health!
Science shows that playing increases optimism, creativity, flexibility, empathy, and social bonds as well as combat depressive symptoms.
So, how do we play more intentionally as adults?
What is Your Play Style?
Everyone has ways that they prefer to play. “Play states” are activated in our brains and bodies when we do the things that are engaging and enjoyable for us. But, sometimes, adults have forgotten how to play. Or, maybe, how you like to play has shifted over time.
Dr. Stuart Brown, the founder of The National Institute for Play, summarized play styles into 8 categories, or “play personalities.” Finding which (and there may be a few) fits you best can help you understand the ways in which you are wired to play. Once you know themes of play in your life, you can seek out more activities like those to increase the natural play in your life.
Here is a quick summary of each play personality. You can find more detailed information here for all of them or even take a quiz to find yours!
The Collector: You play by collecting interesting objects or experiences, tangible or not.
The Competitor: You play to win, accessing drive, creativity, and focus through the desire to succeed.
The Creator: You play through creating, whether you showcase your creations or not, your play is in the process of creation as much as it is in the finished project.
The Director: Play for you is in the planning. Organizing and executing are where you love to be.
The Explorer: Your play state is activated through the exploration of new things, whether those are new places, new cultures, new knowledge, or even better understanding yourself.
The Joker: You often play through finding humor and sharing it with others.
The Kinesthete: You feel the most playful when you are moving. The movement itself is the play for you rather than trying to achieve an end goal.
The Storyteller: Your imagination is the center of your play, often creating or engaging in stories and connections in everyday life as well as intentionally creating them yourself.
Still unsure how you play? Think back to your childhood when you were somewhere between 7 and 12 years old. What did you love to do? What helped you feel free? Look for clues from this time period and see if they still apply to things you like to do now.
Accessing Your Play State
Once you know your play style, you can use that information to start playing more frequently. You also will want to consider how you generally like to engage in activities within that style.
Do you prefer to be around a lot of people for certain play activities? A couple of close friends? Perhaps some activities that you enjoy greatly are more solitary or include a pet.
Do you like to move your body? Do you find yourself wanting to play with objects and things? Or, perhaps, your idea of play and engagement is more figurative like creation, imagination, or organization.
It’s okay to try out a few things and see what feels like fun to you and what doesn’t. We all are unique, and we all have unique things that “fill our play cup.”
If you try something, and it doesn’t fit, THAT’S OKAY! Just try something else. Look for hints in your body and nervous system that this is an activity you enjoy.
That might look like:
You're smiling more
You feel happiness or joy in your body or brain
You want to do it again or more
You feel free
You feel connected and engaged
You feel alive
Try a few things that sound fun, and see what happens. As long as you’re not hurting anyone, there is no wrong way to play.
When you find a few things (or maybe just 1!) that bring you joy and fun, you can look for ways to do those things more regularly. Be curious how engaging in play affects the rest of your life and follow the things that improve your overall wellbeing.
Have fun, and go play!
If you’re interested in learning more about play, The National Institute for Play has many resources for kids, teens, adults, parents, and anyone else who wants to add some play to their life.