My Therapist is Leaving…Now What?
You just got out of session, and your mind is reeling — “My therapist is LEAVING?!”
There might be many thoughts and feelings whirling around in your head, heart, and body — confusion, anger, sadness, disappointment, abandonment parts, protective parts, numbness, avoidance, anxiety... a whole host of things to work through as you move into this new season.
Hopefully, your therapist was able to process this with you in session, but even so, you probably have additional questions and feelings, like “Now what?”
Therapy is a unique kind of relationship. It’s professional, but it’s also personal. You’ve likely shared parts of your life, your story, your thoughts, your growth — your deeply felt inner self — with this person. So, when something changes within that relationship, like them leaving (temporarily or permanently) it’s natural and reasonable for strong and confusing thoughts, feelings, and sensations to surface and need processing.
The good news here, is that there ARE paths forward. And generally, therapists do their best to work through these transitions with clients and make space to process in sessions before the change happens.
Occasionally, something immediate and unforeseeable occurs that creates an immediate termination of services. These moments are both therapeutically and relationally impactful, and you still have options and ways to move into and through them with empowerment and agency.
Why Do Therapists Leave?
Therapists may take temporary leave for many reasons, including parental leave, vacation, to tend to their own or their family’s wellness and health needs, medical leave, seminars, and more.
Therapists may leave or change modalities permanently due to many life factors as well. Some might have accepted a new position or job, are starting their own therapy practice, relocating due to a partner’s job or family needs, are transitioning to a different career or life phase, or retiring.
Your therapist isn’t required to share exactly why they are pausing, leaving, moving, or changing modalities (like moving from in-person sessions to telehealth only), but they are required to ethically support your care needs during the transition.
As a relationally-based therapist, I can tell you that most therapists not only have to plan for that transition, they want to because they care.
What are my options?
First, let me just remind you that there are no right options or paths forward, and picking one because you think it’s what you should do won’t be as helpful as choosing the one that fits best with your needs and life right now.
Continue Together via Telehealth (if you have been in-person)
If your therapist will still be licensed and practicing in the state where you live, continuing virtually may be an option.
This can be a good fit if:
You want to continue with the therapeutic relationship you’ve already built
You feel comfortable meeting over video or phone
You want continuity in your therapeutic goals with someone who already knows your story
At the same time, telehealth isn’t for everyone. Privacy, technology, trauma, and personal preference can all play a role in whether or not this may be a good fit for your needs.
Transition to a New Therapist
Starting with someone new can feel intimidating, but it can also be a fresh start with a new pair of eyes on the problems to help you reconfigure and renew goals and motivation.
This might be a good option if:
You prefer in-person sessions
Your current therapist will no longer be practicing in a capacity in which they continue sessions with you
Telehealth doesn’t feel accessible or comfortable
You’re open to a new perspective or approach
You don’t have to find and transfer to a new therapist alone. Your current therapist can often provide referrals and help guide you toward someone who fits your needs.
This option can also be temporary if your therapist is going on a short-term leave, and you would like to continue to have therapeutic support while they’re gone and then transition back to them when they return from leave.
Pause or End Therapy (For Now)
Sometimes a pause in therapy is both timely and helpful, and your therapist transitioning, pausing, or leaving may be the perfect time to explore this option.
Maybe you’ve met your original goals and can graduate from your current therapy season. Maybe you would like to take a therapy break to figure out where you’re at now and what your new goals are. Maybe life is pretty stable right now, and it makes sense to take an organic break. Or perhaps you just need some time to process the transition. All of those are completely valid reasons for pausing sessions or taking a therapy break.
Therapy can be so helpful, AND it is perfectly okay to do life without routine therapy, if that makes sense for you in this season. It’s my goal to help you feel empowered enough to graduate therapy when you’re ready (which may be a month or ten years!) and supported enough to reach back out if/when you need/want therapy again in the future.
You’re always welcome to return to therapy whenever you feel the need or want to.
Your therapist will be happy to talk over this option with you as well and help you explore what might be a good fit for you in this season.
Questions You Might Want to Ask
If you’re unsure what option to pursue, it can be helpful to talk through it with your therapist.
Here are some questions that you can bring to session or that your therapist may bring to you in session.
Client questions:
What options do I have?
What should I look for in a new therapist?
What do we do in our remaining sessions?
What would continuing via telehealth look like?
Can you set me up with a new therapist?
How do I know if I’m ready to graduate therapy?
Therapist questions:
Which do you think would be a good fit for your current place in life and growth toward your goals?
What therapeutic aspects have been most helpful and least helpful for you?
What goals or aspects do you want to focus on in our remaining time together?
Would you like to try a telehealth session before I physically relocate to see how that would feel for you?
Would you like therapist referrals, and, if so, how can we work together to most comfortably transition you to someone new?
What goals have you met, which are you working toward, how urgent do those goals feel, and how stable do you feel in your life and ability to capably live life right now?
Making the Most of the Remaining Sessions
If you have time before the transition, you might:
Reflect on the progress you’ve made
Talk about what’s been most helpful
Ask for tools, notes, or themes to carry forward
Process the ending itself
Endings, even planned ones, can bring up important and complex emotions (especially if attachment wounds and trauma are triggered), and therapy is a safe place to explore those.
A Note About Feelings
It’s okay if this feels like a loss.
It is also okay if it doesn’t.
Some people feel deeply connected to their therapist. Others feel more neutral. Some feel a mix of gratitude, sadness, frustration, or even relief.
There’s no “correct” emotional response here.
What matters is giving yourself permission to notice what’s coming up without judgment.
You’re Not Alone in This
Whatever you decide, you don’t have to navigate it by yourself.
Your therapist is there to help guide you through the transition, talk through your options, and make sure you feel supported in whatever comes next.
Change can feel unsettling, and it can also be handled with care, intention, and clarity.
Next Steps:
Schedule a session to talk about the transition (or be prepared to talk about it with intention at your already-scheduled session)
Explore your options openly
Ask for referrals if needed
Make a plan that feels right for you
Let your therapist know if there is a transitional ritual you would like to share during the last session (a hug, a transition object, a letter to yourself, an encouraging note from your therapist, a thank you, or simply “farewell”)
You don’t have to rush the decision of what’s next, and you also don’t have to figure it out alone.
Transitions can be challenging and hard, and they can also be incredible gateways to what is next.
All my well wishes in your unique journey,