If You Are Considering Therapy or Re-energizing Your Current Therapy
As a therapist, I have the great benefit of hearing myself ask questions, and be reminded by my own voice, and the voice of the people I am fortunate enough to sit with, of helpful daily reminders for how to better care for oneself and navigate challenges and successes in our lives.
Sometimes people misunderstand therapy. Sometimes people have real or perceived reasons to avoid it, including having had bad experiences. The foundation of a successful experience in therapy starts with a relationship that feels comfortable and genuine. It should be an experience that goes at your pace. This doesn’t mean it will always be easy or feel fulfilling or “successful”. The gauge of how your therapy affects you is partly based on your own self-awareness and measures of growth and a perceived sense of support, inside and outside your therapeutic relationship.
My current wise supervisor reminded me, “Just because it feels bad, doesn’t mean it is bad.” Again, what a powerful thing to hear and then share. Then often I hear it reflected back to me in real life experiences clients I work with have and then share with me. Perhaps they share a new lens with which to view the experience, or implement a new coping skill that provides some relief or new way of feeling okay with what is in front of and inside them.
Some great places to start or shift if you’re stuck in therapy, is to think about your goals. What do you what to accomplish during your time and what steps could you take to get there? This is a great collaborative process, you and your therapist can work together to create and check in on the progress of your goals along the way. Another option is to consider how your body feels and ask for support in creating space to understand how you feel in terms of your somatic sensations. This can then be connected to thought patterns and how the thought patterns and feelings intersect and affect each other. This can be effective for many of us because we know how our body responds if we pay attention. Have you ever had a clenched jaw or tight chest when you were stressed or activated? Have you ever been flooded with warmth or have butterflies in your stomach when you are doing something you love or spending time with someone you love? This awareness and knowing can help navigate your journey in therapy sessions as well.
I work both at my job and in my personal life to learn and encourage myself and others to explore, embrace, tackle, accept, challenge, engage, loosen around, just pay attention to, or whatever the moment offers along the journey. Imagine if we consider ourselves lifelong learners, willing to both demand results of ourselves and our time in sessions, with gentle care for ourselves and the journey. There are so many good providers to choose from and so many effective forms of therapy, all unique to you. Be brave and trust yourself to know you can be empowered in your journey, whether that is self-guided or in partnership with your therapist. Make your therapy work for you, because you’re worth it.