Finding Intention and Calm in the Holiday Season
The holiday season is often viewed as the “most wonderful time of year.” However, for many people, it is much more complicated than that. Whether facing the pressure to create a magical holiday experience, navigating tricky family dynamics, or juggling a packed schedule, there can be a sense of overwhelm and stress. Or maybe you find yourself without company to spend time with, or with less reason to celebrate. While it may not be possible to get through the season without some challenge, there are also opportunities to create intention and implement strategies that support balance and a sense of calm. Here are a few ideas to consider.
Embrace imperfection. Can good be good enough? There is so much planning and preparation this time of year around meals, hosting, gift-giving, events, and celebrations. What if there were also space for planning and preparation around accepting imperfection and recognizing that things can still go well even when they go differently than we had planned? Decreasing unreasonable expectations for ourselves and those around us can meaningfully reduce the stress and overwhelm we experience.
Reflect on what is most important to you and how you would like to feel at the end of the holiday season. It can be helpful to ask yourself questions such as, “Where does this fit into the bigger picture?” For example, if you’re feeling frustrated by the long line at the post office while trying to mail gifts, you might remind yourself of what you’re doing and why, rather than focusing solely on the frustration of the moment. Another helpful self-check-in might be, “Even though I know this is a stressful time, what can I do to be present and embrace the chaos?” Consider offering kindness and appreciation to those around you as they navigate similar stressors. Or notice someone’s festive gear and share an easy compliment. Perhaps a little holiday magic can spread with our help.
Consider reframing your goals for the holiday season and beyond. Many of us fall out of routines or healthier patterns during this time, only to lean into resolutions and big goals at the start of the new year. While this approach can work for some, statistics tell us that most New Year’s resolutions do not stick. This may be a good time to check in and gauge whether now is a reasonable time to expect behavior change or major transitions. If not, perhaps your goal is simply to revisit your motivation in a month or two.
Offer yourself the kindness of starting with small, tangible goals that allow for experiences of success. For example, if you haven’t been exercising and want to begin, maybe that looks like fitting it into your schedule a couple of days a week rather than buying a gym membership and expecting yourself to attend a 6 a.m. class every day. When we activate our reward cycle by achieving small goals, it often motivates us to take the next step. And if your birthday, the summer solstice, or a random Tuesday in October is when you feel that inner motivation for setting loftier goals, embrace it.
As therapists, we are following your lead — meeting you where you are, trusting the relationship, and honoring an intentional process. You can offer yourself that same care, whether on your own or with the support of your therapist.
Happy Holidays, and take good care of your fantastic self!