Everyone Has a Story: A Therapist’s Reflection on Narrative Therapy
Sitting with clients weekly is a privilege. They are trusting me with their most personal information — their rich, amazing lives, their stories. Each of us has a narrative we tell ourselves about how we’ve become who we are. That story shapes how we see ourselves in relationship to the world around us. It also drives us to search for answers to the existential questions of life: Who am I? What’s my purpose? What are my values? What are my strengths and weaknesses?
When someone comes to therapy, the story they’re telling — or the one they believe to be their whole truth — is often a problem-saturated story. Over time, it can start to feel like their struggles define them. Narrative therapy offers an alternative. It’s a practice that invites people to re-author their life stories. The therapist’s role is to ask curious, targeted questions that help clients notice and explore what narrative therapy calls unique outcomes: those moments, even brief ones, when the usual problem wasn’t present or didn’t take over.
These moments — also known as exceptions to the dominant, negative narrative — offer a chance to shift perspective. Maybe it’s the time someone set a boundary, laughed unexpectedly, or showed up for themselves in a small but meaningful way. These details can seem easy to overlook, but they’re powerful. They reflect what a person values most and hint at new possibilities for how they might see themselves.
A core piece of this work is externalizing — separating the person from the problem. It’s not “I am anxious” but “Anxiety tends to show up when…” This helps clients begin to understand that they are not the problem — the problem is the problem.
Research supports narrative therapy’s ability to reduce symptoms of anxiety and depression, improve marital satisfaction, and help individuals navigate trauma. Narrative Exposure Therapy, a trauma-focused extension of this work, has also shown effectiveness in treating PTSD (Carr, 1998).
What I appreciate most about narrative therapy is how it honors the complexity of human experience. It doesn’t force people to minimize pain or ignore what's hard. Instead, it makes room for counter-narratives, truths about strength, connection, and agency that already exist within them. Even the smallest moments can begin to reshape the story.
Kathleen Byrne, MA, EdS, MEd, PCLC
Resources
https://www.resiliencelab.us/thought-lab/narrative-therapy
Carr, A. (1998). Michael White's narrative therapy. Contemporary Family Therapy: An International Journal, 20(4), 485–503
Narrative Therapy Vancouver School NTVS