Components of a Healthy Relationship and How to Build Them: Part 5 of 5
In life, we cultivate a variety of relationships, including with family, romantic partners, friends, colleagues, neighbors, and acquaintances. Healthy, functioning relationships often include common elements that can be worked on as a team with the other person in the relationship.
*However, unhealthy relationships are different, and if you are concerned that you or someone you love is experiencing domestic violence or abuse, please reach out for help. Locally to the Help Center at 406.586.3333 or the National Domestic Violence Abuse hotline at 1-800-799-SAFE or text 88788*
Creating Joy and Connection
Alongside the stress and struggles in our personal relationships, there is also the joy and the fun. Healthy and functional partnerships recognize the power of intentional time and creating meaningful connection. Here are some tips.
Prioritize communication
Regular check-ins, time set aside for tough conversations, and consistent de-stressing chats can make a big difference. When you tend to the harder topics, you create more space for ease and playfulness.
Consider using creative communication tools to support deeper understanding, things like sharing a journal that you both write in. Choose a topic or prompt, take turns adding entries, and read each other’s reflections. This can reduce the heat of in-the-moment conversations and offer a fresh way to express thoughts and feelings.
Try a two-person book club. Pick a book that inspires you or sparks growth, then read and discuss it together. Communication is a foundational relationship skill, and it can be strengthened in ways that feel engaging rather than heavy.
Explore intimacy
Connection isn’t just physical, it’s emotional, spiritual, and relational. Learn your love languages and talk about what helps each of you feel valued and close.
Increase non-sexual touch, especially if you’ve fallen into a pattern where physical contact only happens when sex is being initiated. Shifting to touch that is giving rather than goal-directed can lower pressure and increase warmth. This might look like cuddling, hand-holding, sitting close with your legs touching, hugging, massaging, or even playful touch like tickling. Make it a lighthearted challenge to increase both variety and frequency.
You might also explore resources like Tantric Yoga or other reputable guides on healthy intimacy to deepen connection in ways that feel aligned with your relationship.
Bring back play
Most adults don’t carve out enough space for play, even though relationships, like plants, need regular nurturing. When they’re neglected, they wilt.
Play looks different for every couple: board games, date nights, concerts, new hobbies, cooking something adventurous, wrestling or horseplay, taking a class, making travel plans, or simply laughing together. There are countless ways to add fun and novelty to your relationship. Even brainstorming ideas together can be a playful activity.
Strong, healthy, happy, and long-lasting relationships do not just happen, they require effort. One of the things every relationship needs is a little fun. Be intentional about having fun in your relationships and you may just find greater contentedness in your relationship and life in general.
Rachel Brown, MSW, SWLC
Resources
https://www.loveisrespect.org/
https://extension.usu.edu/relationships/research/the-importance-of-play-in-couple-relationships
https://www.gottman.com/blog/the-one-thing-any-couple-can-do-for-better-connection-and-intimacy/