Anxious Generation: Why This Book Matters
As a mom, I’ve felt the weight of burnout. Society often sends the message that parents must have a constant watchful eye or risk something terrible happening. I grew up in the era of America’s Most Wanted and nonstop coverage of the Elizabeth Smart kidnapping case — lessons that reinforced my deepest fears as possibilities. To get a break from the pressure of always being on alert, I’d sometimes turn on a show or movie for my kids. At least I knew they were safe, and I could exhale. What I didn’t realize was how much I was limiting their ability to grow.
The book The Anxious Generation lays out the facts: stranger kidnappings are exceedingly rare, with 99% of cases involving a non-custodial parent. The sensationalized stories we see on TV don’t reflect reality, but they’ve shaped a culture of fear. Starting in the 1990s, parents began restricting kids’ independence, and as technology advanced, screens became the “safe” alternative. The tradeoff? Children spent less time playing freely with friends and more time online — where risks are higher and opportunities to build social and emotional skills are fewer.
We’re now seeing the effects. Rates of depression and anxiety in youth have risen sharply. Boys are more likely to develop compulsive pornography use, avoiding the vulnerability of real relationships. Girls spend hours on TikTok and Instagram, where self-worth often gets tied to appearance and peer approval.
So what can parents do? The solution isn’t easy at first, but it gets easier with time. When my kids were 3 and 5, we dramatically reduced screen time. Tablets are reserved only for long road trips. Phones are off-limits. TV is limited to one family movie per week, with a short daily PBS Kids show as a reward when needed. Most importantly, we stopped hovering. My kids now play outside without me shadowing their every move. Yes, sometimes I peek out and feel my heart race when they try something risky. But unless there’s a true danger, I let them figure it out — and they usually do.
The changes have been remarkable. My kids are happier, more creative, and better at entertaining themselves. They’ve built new friendships, developed stronger problem-solving skills, and gained confidence. They bounce back more easily when they get hurt. And my husband and I feel less stressed, more connected to our kids, and more at ease in our parenting.
Sometimes visits with grandparents reset things a bit, but the kids quickly settle back into their rhythm. Looking back, reducing screen time and giving them more freedom has been one of the most impactful choices we’ve made.
The Anxious Generation completely changed our family life for the better — and I can’t recommend it highly enough.